New Seasons

I love September: the start of school for millions of children (including my own), the start of cooler weather and autumn colours. It’s a time of the year that, like the first days of spring or the first snow fall, remain deeply engraved with vivid memories from both childhood and adulthood.

I haven’t written much in the past few weeks, owing to a completely and insanely busy season in my life. Life has been moving ahead so quickly, and I’ve been–by the grace of God–able to manage 16-17 hour days, two jobs, a university course, family, and further job searches. I know that God’s going to give me the time and energy to do what I need to do. My body has started to weaken, and on Saturdays like today, I find that I need a good two-hour nap to reset every cell in my body.

The future is much, much brighter than a year ago. I’ve made some good connections with people, and having finally gotten my foot in the door in the field that I’ve long wanted to be in, makes all the waiting, effort, stress, frustration and worry worth it.

A new season is fast approaching. I’m praying that God would continue to enrich our lives with amazing experiences.

Japan wins FIFA Women’s World Cup

I couldn’t feel happier for the Japanese women’s soccer team, having won an amazing victory for their country. Brings up a storm of emotions from the past few months since the earthquake, and I’m so glad they were able to win. I can only think of how happy and proud millions of Japanese are of their team. Well done to the Japanese team!!

Keep walking

There are days at work when I’m filled with self-loathing, believing my situation is worthless. The work I’ve been given to do is not especially difficult or stressful, which is perhaps the primary challenge for me. I’m seeking work that will not only reflect what I’m capable of doing, but work that reflects who I am as a person. I know very well that we shouldn’t identify ourselves with our work, but that nagging feeling that I should be doing something better or more important still seems to plague me.

On the flip side, I know that I’m there for a reason, however temporary that might be. I have my sights set on something a few months down the road, but what if that goal never materializes? What then?

I have to constantly remind myself to keep walking, to not look at my situation in the now, but to set my eyes on things above. It’s hard, I’ll tell you, but what good is it to keep my sights set on my own worries?

I’m praying that this time of work is fruitful, in whatever way possible, and that I continue doing my work diligently.

Waiting for God

I know a lot of you are waiting………….waiting for an answer, for a decision, for a blessing, for an idea, for some green shoots, for work, for family, for healing, for the pain to end, for the suffering to cease, for a letter in the mail, for a delivery, for a birth, for a death, for an announcement.

Waiting is so difficult, and I continue to wait for my own prayers to be answered.

The past few days have been incredible. On Friday, I received a significant amount of money that came totally unexpected. I had been praying, worried sick about what might happen to our finances. We had just converted some American dollars to Canadian, and I was mentally preparing to sell off part of our investment portfolio. I had felt so desperate that I applied to all and any job that I thought I might be able to do and still feel okay about doing. In that regard, I got an interview and there’s a glimmer of hope that I might get some work in the next few weeks.

I don’t know how God works. I know nothing about His omniscience, power, or grace. I have, however, felt his grace in the two occasions Í mentioned above.

When that moment comes, after waiting, worrying, and wondering, it’s an awe-inspiring moment. I can only think of how silly I’ve been to worry about everything, to think that God had forgotten about me and my family, and to entertain all the negative and self-destructive thoughts. God cares, simply put. He is so, so, so much bigger than our little problems and worries. I encourage you to keep looking up to God.

It’s a brand new day

Get your eyes off of yourself; look to the heavens and not at your situation. Remember that God is in control and cares for you, and trust that your life is secure. The things around us may crumble, things we’ve spent time in accumulating or building. At the end of the day, God is the only thing that remains, and as such, is the only thing worthwhile. Keep your eyes on God and pray.

Japan’s Earthquake and Tsunami

Australia’s Broadcasting Corp posted these incredible pictures of the devestation in Japan. It’s hard to look at, especially to imagine how many thousands of homes and lives were lost. It certainly puts life’s essentials into perspective.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/events/japan-quake-2011/beforeafter.htm

Mercy

Lord, have mercy on me. Provide the way for me to follow, light it up so I can see it, and help me get on my way. Amen.

Stuck in the valley

It’s hard being stuck in one place, especially if that one place is a dark valley. I’ve had times on top of some hills, on the edge of the mountain faces, looking out to see how awesome life is. Today, I’m trudging along in the valley, trying to find the end of it.

The hardest part of being in the valley is the huge amount of psychological stress it creates. I have no scientific evidence for this claim, but I’m beginning to believe that there’s a part of my brain that shrinks, and then lusts after things. I suppose another way of framing it is, sin easily overwhelms me without much of a battle.

When life is “normal” and I’m working on all four (or eight) cyclinders, that part of my brain remains healthy. I’m busy on things of a purposeful nature, unconcerned and not easily overcome by sin.

Being unemployed (or partially underemployed) takes my focus away, letting me get taken away by the part of me that has become unhealthy. With a click of a mouse, I’m suddenly at the side of a cliff, jumping over the edge into some of the darkest experiences of a man’s life.

I pray that this day, with grace renewed, that I would make a strong effort to keep God first; to have my faith built up. That I renew my commitment to the God who has protected me, loved me unconditionally, and supported me this whole life. I pray for mercy and forgiveness. I pray for an inner strength that will make a difference in the lives of people I love and care about. I pray for more work in the near future. Regardless of my situation, help me God to remember that You are God, the One who knows where my life is headed. Remind me each moment, God, that I am in Your hands, that your provisions are an abundance, and that you know exactly what I need. Help me not to worry or stress about what will happen tommorrow. Help me to make the right decisions especially when faced with clear cases of right and wrong decisions. Help me to choose the right way.

Waiting

Wait for the Lord. Wait for the Lord.

Good things will come.

Wait for the Lord.

Storms continue

I’t's amazing how many storms our lives can handle, isn’t it? From the stories I’ve read about people who’ve lost it all, from people who’ve suffered abuse and tragedy, the stories continue: the storms continue as well.

The fear of the unknown and the uncertainty of the future are both terrible human predicaments to endure. When we feel hopeless, useless, and without direction, I can’t find any other compass better than God. There are times when I ignore his ready hand. There are times when I think it’s not worth it. There are time when I think that He’s not listening.

On this wintery morning, I pray that I will seek Him out. I pray that we can reach out and find the peace of His arms. I’m praying that we stop fumbling, and instead land on the rock.