So today was a much better day, emotionally at least, than yesterday. I’m still jobless but I’ve got an interview with a recruiter tomorrow afternoon. I’ve got a slight headache after several hours of searching on the Internet and filling out forms for recruiters and selection tools. As I said in previous posts, searching for work is not exactly the best experience you’ll enjoy in yourlife–it may rank somewhere between having the flu and a thousand consecutive paper cuts. But there is, I’m sure, light at the end of the jobless tunnel. A job turns into experience which turns into more advanced positions which turns into senior roles. Joblessness is a phase in one’s life to be somewhat enjoyed for what it is: a phase.

The phone sits next to me and every time it rings, I get a little jolt of adrenaline, expecting the person on the other end of the line to offer me an amazing job. Well, more often than not, it’s the Toronto Public Library that phones to tell me my orders are ready to be picked up; or it’s my mom. 

Some days it’s simply hard to pick up that phone and dial the number, possibly out of fear of rejection or a mixture of laziness and anxiety. I’ve felt that way a few times in my current jobless stage. “Should I call? Hmm…..I should call. Yeah, I should call, shouldn’t I? What if they don’t respond? What if I get rejected? Should I call just to get rejected? I shouldn’t call just to get rejected, should I?”

Ahhh….yes. Once the brain starts functionin in modal logic, the possible outcomes that work rabbit trails in our minds start to really become elaborate.