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It’s hard being stuck in one place, especially if that one place is a dark valley. I’ve had times on top of some hills, on the edge of the mountain faces, looking out to see how awesome life is. Today, I’m trudging along in the valley, trying to find the end of it.

The hardest part of being in the valley is the huge amount of psychological stress it creates. I have no scientific evidence for this claim, but I’m beginning to believe that there’s a part of my brain that shrinks, and then lusts after things. I suppose another way of framing it is, sin easily overwhelms me without much of a battle.

When life is “normal” and I’m working on all four (or eight) cyclinders, that part of my brain remains healthy. I’m busy on things of a purposeful nature, unconcerned and not easily overcome by sin.

Being unemployed (or partially underemployed) takes my focus away, letting me get taken away by the part of me that has become unhealthy. With a click of a mouse, I’m suddenly at the side of a cliff, jumping over the edge into some of the darkest experiences of a man’s life.

I pray that this day, with grace renewed, that I would make a strong effort to keep God first; to have my faith built up. That I renew my commitment to the God who has protected me, loved me unconditionally, and supported me this whole life. I pray for mercy and forgiveness. I pray for an inner strength that will make a difference in the lives of people I love and care about. I pray for more work in the near future. Regardless of my situation, help me God to remember that You are God, the One who knows where my life is headed. Remind me each moment, God, that I am in Your hands, that your provisions are an abundance, and that you know exactly what I need. Help me not to worry or stress about what will happen tommorrow. Help me to make the right decisions especially when faced with clear cases of right and wrong decisions. Help me to choose the right way.

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Wait for the Lord. Wait for the Lord.

Good things will come.

Wait for the Lord.

I’t’s amazing how many storms our lives can handle, isn’t it? From the stories I’ve read about people who’ve lost it all, from people who’ve suffered abuse and tragedy, the stories continue: the storms continue as well.

The fear of the unknown and the uncertainty of the future are both terrible human predicaments to endure. When we feel hopeless, useless, and without direction, I can’t find any other compass better than God. There are times when I ignore his ready hand. There are times when I think it’s not worth it. There are time when I think that He’s not listening.

On this wintery morning, I pray that I will seek Him out. I pray that we can reach out and find the peace of His arms. I’m praying that we stop fumbling, and instead land on the rock.

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What I’m reading now

"Wanderlust: A Social History of Travel," by Laura Byrne Paquet (Fredericton:Goose Lane Editions, 2007) "The Global Soul: Jet Lag, Shopping malls, and the Search for Home," by Pico Iyer (Toronto: Random House of Canada, 2000). "Outliers: The Story of Success," by Malcolm Gladwell (New York: Little, Brown, and Company, 2008).

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